E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

So, i made fig jam while Mom watched tonight. It seemed better than having her watch shows, although she had been at my sister's where the bandwidth is terrible and her shows froze.

I hear her back in her bedroom, clearing her throat, groaning -- i went back and she went on and on about -- blood? -- people who change their mind? She wasn't distressed. I can't tell if she was thinking about TV shows or what.

Anyhow, so here i am.

--== ∞ ==--

So how did i get here?

On Thursday my sister took Mom to her house while Dad left for Florida, despite Grandmámá rallying. Overnight, My Dad's cousin's son in law died. Dad's now with his mom and will stay through a telehealth visit on Thursday (and some other business on Tuesday). He will have the substitute caretaker come in on Monday, so that there will be overlap time for everyone to get to know one another.

I am fuzzy on Grandmámá's ability to travel. I know she has some sort of back pain. I wish Dad could just drive her back here, but Grandmámá is reasonably competent. Does she understand how her choice affects others? Maybe?

Insert a vigorous round of cursing at Grandmámá's dead third husband who would not accede to them moving into assisted living. Yes, it would have been hard during the first round of COVID, and, i dunno, even now. But Dad's cousin could be with her family, and Dad wouldn't have quite the layer of additional caretaking stress.

On Friday, my sister had a meltdown. First, Dad's caretaker B is allergic to cats: a problem at my sister's. Later, i forget what the last straw was, but my sister called me in distress. I talked her through it, and i reminded her she didn't have to do this alone. So, we agreed i'd take mom back at mom's house and she'd have the weekend as a break. And, since she's acting as general contractor and children chauffeur, during the week the person dad hired will be on site 7am to noon, i'll be here noon to dinner, and my sis will put mom to bed spend the night. She's going to bring dinners, too, yay. (One less thing for me to strategize.)

I spent Friday evening making a color coded chart of the schedule, and then refined it with my sister Saturday morning. It's nice: i have sent it to Dad and Christine, L sent it to B (the caretaker). L also said she'd have dinner for Mom on Saturday and we'd meet up at 5 pm. No argument from me! I was able to get some things done around our house, including a modicum of yard work.

When we met up, L was able to admit she did something our mother would do which is take on everything by herself. I hope that eases the stress around this situation for her. She was also blaming Dad much in the way my mother would, and i think they had a fight on Wednesday? Thursday? which sounded like a Mom and Dad fight.

So, that's me.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/868125.html .
Tags: elder care

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