All this to realize i may be at my new normal.
This coming weekend we will have my sister's family, 60% of my brother's family, and my parents over. This would have been a big deal for us prepandemic. I'm trying to minimize the drama around having the gather and did much of the grocery shopping yesterday. I spent time weighing the costs and benefits and decided to make and freeze guacamole. It won't be as good as fresh, but i think it will be better or comparable to the stuff in plastic tubs, and less plastic. All the avocados were ripe, so there was no putting it off.
Going to Tampa to be with Grandmámá will be a thing -- not sure how many other people (aunts and uncles, a friend) i will try and squeeze in to the trip. And i'm not sure how it's going to go now that she has a fractured vertebra and is in pain. I suspect she needs much more help. I set up a Zoom for her and my Dad yesterday. Mom was participating in the call and pretty much could only just say "Good to see you." I think that was Mom's way of trying to express love and concern: it's so hard to discern how much is aphasia and how much is cognitive failures. Grandmámá is hard of hearing and Dad deals by having her talk on the phone so the phone volume can assist, Zoom is OK because she gets to wear a head set. Grandmámá isn't as sharp as i wish she was, her world seems limited to a barely risque joke about women and liquor (that my Dad's cousin doesn't like her to tell).