E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,
E.G.
elainegrey

Exhausted

Exhausted: it's the general frame i have for what's going on with me right now. I told my sister that i feel like i have five things to carry but can only manage two at a time.

I'm taking this morning off and i do want to go outside and plant some over due for planting plants in the herb garden area -- plants i bought for the area delimited by the front room wall and the front porch where i ripped out the azaleas. That spot is very much in the way of people working on the porch though.

I also should call about the lumber i need for the railings and order the handrail cap.

In therapy this week -- i look at my scribbled notes -- i asked Christine if she had an opinion about i should talk about. She mentioned Edward, the glum weather, and my forgetting the antidepressant a few times. I don't think the forgetting the antidepressant was anything other than a statistically insignificant clump of my usual occasionally forgetting. S-- pressed me on it, but i think it's just my flaky habits. Edward is on Christine's mind, and both of us had independently thought back to when our first cat, GreyBeard died from a diabetic seizure. Both Edward and Luigi are senior cats, and both may reach a turning point in their health in the next few years. Unlike when GreyBeard died, we both are home most of the time, and i think we are both more attuned to our household. I don't think the distressing quality of GryeBeard's death is likely to repeat, and i do think Christine will be far more affected as the pets are her closest companions other than myself.

Right before therapy Christine and i had had conversation that ran into her negativity triggers over and over again. That distressed me, but i've been on edge as part of this exhaustion. I don't call it depression because the sense of futility and despair i associate with depression isn't present. I am just tired.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/843727.html .
Tags: garden, therapy notes
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