E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Happy New Year, Goodbye 2020 (depression, procrastination, observe)

Happy new year to you and yours.

Some of you are in transitions, with work, family, and living situation changes happening this past year -- some pandemic caused, some otherwise. I appreciate you sharing your stories. There's grief and the anticipation of grief for some of you: i hope for ease and that memories of the good accompany you. For some of you the change in work brought by the pandemic created some opportunities: i hope the new path is rewarding. For some of you there is worry and uncertainty: i hope there's a solid ground for you to land on, and that your strength bears you to that security. For those of you with health concerns: may there be healing.

For some of us, the drama of the year has been in what we witnessed, and i suspect that many of us are tired. I am surprised at how tired i am. May we all find restoration and a deep wellspring of compassion, wisdom, and strength. May we all be prepared to stand up for justice and love, for our fellow beings and for the planet when the opportunity presents.

Such an odd break. I missed my antidepressant yesterday and that didn't help. I keep feeling i can barely get through just thinking about my day before i am overwhelmed and the day is over.

Christine reminds me that my coming over here and hanging out with Mom & Dad, listening to my father for hours is a gift for my brother whether he knows it or not. I am beating myself up because getting gifts for my brother's family just mystifies me. I can never tell if what i do do is meaningful at all for the kids.

I've been scatterbrained and distractable.

I have purged a large number of old flours from the pantry. Will i get back to baking and finish the last gallons of rye flour and all the various bits of stuff in the pantry that i got this summer before killing my sourdough starter?

I have organized all my camera kit. I don't know what to do with my old digital Sony camera. It only goes for $20 or so on eBay. I suppose i can sell the old Sony and keep the lens and filters with the old film body. Christine's been shooting polaroids but she might want to do film someday.

I have a little worry of how can i manage going back to work, or more accurately, when will i get to all the little plans i have when i go back to work.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/836064.html .
Tags: depression, observe, procrastination

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