E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,
E.G.
elainegrey

(reading notes, cats, mom and caa, vacation, cooking, depression)

Realizations from therapy Tuesday included that i haven't been to Mom & Dad's place since March, thus seeing the state of things - housekeeping and Mom, as well as Dad's frailty - was a shock. On Monday, i arrived to find the kitchen spotless and the clutter all put up, with laundry running and Mom's dresses drying in a doorway. Dad's energy had returned and he was using his morning burst of moxie to get things done. That was good to see.

I had taken Friday off, partly to plan our vacation, but ended up working Friday instead. (No email, yay!) With Sunday also diverting me from establishing intentionality, i'm a little frustrated. There are somethings -- like reviving my rye bread baking, that i suspect i need lead time (although i see i can buy a whole POUND of yeast on Amazon prime, so maybe i have time Saturday to sort out details - -Hans is probably dead in the back of the fridge accompanied by some aquafaba which is probably now alive).

Yesterday, as vacation planning, i found a gourmet food vendor online and ordered a truffle, lovely cheeses, olives, canned scallops, and Toschi Amarena Cherries.

--== ∞ ==--

Evening brings gloom and overwhelm and sense of guilt for not having the gumption to get up and go. There's some depression at the edge right now and lack of exercise and yard work are part of the problem.Then i face the humidity and i don't wanna. I need to get to where i can go out immediately after work and then have time to clean up and recover from the mugginess.

Edward is diagnosed with diabetes, and i flash to thinking of GreyBeard's death (2008) from complications from diabetes. I reread some of my journal from that time. We knew and we were preparing for it. It was before Christine was invaded by elephants.

I skimmed through a book Tuesday night, "The Oldest Living Things in the World," a fascinating meditative art project: photographs of some of the oldest entities. Deep time. The New York Times has had stores this week related to some of her topics. The author, Rachel Sussman, writes about actinobacteria in the permafrost, four to six hundred thousand years old, not dormant but slowly persisting, existing. The Times writes of a core being pulled from the sediments beneath the South Pacific Gyre: 200,000 feet below the water's surface, 250 feet below the floor of the ocean, in sediments from 101.5 million years ago. The microbes from this core are happily feeding away. And there's an article reporting the scientific debate on the immortality of long lived trees: no reference is made to the 43,600 year old King's Holly of Tasmania in this discussion. Perhaps the fragmentary persistence is so alien to our mammal body plan scientists can't quite count this as immortality -- and then there are some political and botanical challenges with that King's Holly (Lomatia tasmanica). The site, from Sussman's book, sounds like it's somewhat contested with extractive industry interested in its site.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/819706.html .
Tags: cats, cooking, depression, mom and caa, reading notes, vacation
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