After work i made progress with the Buildings and Grounds committee:
I found myself wondering, “What exactly is ‘broke’ here that calls out for such a bustle of fixing?” I’m not sure I see it.
I perhaps replied with too much detail regarding each of the four points in the response that my mail client let me know took an hour to write. One thing that it makes me think of is a spouse who is like, "Woah woah woah, what's this with a chore list? Everything's been working fine!"
That *just* came to me. I've been feeling insecure up to this point. Now there's a little simmer of anger in realizing part of this: previous clerk was willing to make many many unilateral decisions and not bother anyone or just informally bother a few.
So that took me to midnight, well past my bedtime.
--== ∞ ==--
Tuesday morning, shortly after i was to start work i heard via the health system i had an appointment at 9:30am.
And the visit was better than i expected, with my expectation low due to patronizing comments before. This time he expressed interest in determining whether the asthma was asthma or a symptom. Given
--== ∞ ==--
My therapist and i talked about lots of worries. Irritated by the cavalier attitude about children not having affects from being infected,
Anyhow, we will keep talking.
--== ∞ ==--
I made my bread last night. My mental thoughts through the whole process are ... not optimistic. But i might be learning from slight signals. And i think i'm finally getting pleasant bread (although the tooth cracking quality of some of the whole rye grains is still an issue). I've learned my room temperature isn't enough to make the bread rise, so last night i tried a warmed oven. (Last bake time i had a warm day to leave it on the deck). The flash of hot baking then reducing the oven temp seems not helpful, so now i am baking for two hours at 350°F in covered pans. Making my own malt is a pain, but i think it really really improves. And i've learned to pulse some of the soaked rye in the blender. I might ought to do that with the malted rye too, but i keep mixing the malt with the sunflower seeds for the soak, and i like the whole sunflower seeds.
