E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Letting the tigers out this morning at dawn was rewarding. The moonlight flooded the back yard and the skies were mostly clear. Through the still bare trees i could see three planets lined up to the east, a line pointing towards the sun, still well below the horizon. Frogs sang in the distance. Marlowe was sleeping on a cushion set up by the screen (the porch is enclosed up to waist high -- something we'd like to change some day).

The sky map reveals it is Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars are clustered together (Pluto, not visible, in between Saturn and Jupiter), affirming my guess that it has been Venus performing as the Evening Star of late.

At work, there was a project on which i was consulting. My strong assertions of how something was to be designed (public user profile) was met with whether it belonged in the domain of user data, and i was, yes, sure. (I find myself an identity management expert. So, yes, i know what to do with a profile.)

Little did i know the project was in high visibility with the executive team and the architect was about to quit with two weeks notice and the business analyst was just about to go out on leave. the whole thing is blowing up, and i'm in meeting after painful meeting essentially redesigning, rehashing, revisiting with people who have been on the periphery and now are in Director level politics mode.

Monday was eaten by the ... i'll call it surprise project, so yesterday midmorning i realized that i hadn't prepared for the Tuesday afternoon meeting about The Giant Project That Terrifies Me. I had called the meeting so i shifted it to Wednesday. Then my afternoon was eaten by the pleasant work of collaborating with a colleague on testing something designed so long ago it was a delight to see it in action. The Surprise Project needed documentation of an alternative route. I had said the alternative was not appropriate, and as i dug in (thank heavens the colleague i needed to consult is in California) i found even more reasons (that i probably knew at the time) that it was a bad match. Anyhow, i worked to 9 pm with the project manager badgering me about estimates until i finially signed off as needing to get dinner. I'd probably had enough calories stress eating, but there's something psychologically settling about something hot compared to something scooped by fistfuls out of a bag.

In one of the meetings, my description was met with "well that was a whole lot of words" by the now-director who had policed my communication when he was my manager. I snapped back. Hours later i told my current manager (who reports up to the director) that when the director complained to him about my communication, would he kindly keep in mind the lack of professionalism in that comment compared to something along the lines of "wow, too much detail for this meeting." I am happy my now manager replied with his recognition that it was a dismissive comment.

My fury over Surprise Project's distracting me from Terrifying Project is large. I have a hard enough time getting my nerve together for Terrifying Project. Terrifying project is what got me in the cycle of procrastination and depression last summer and fall. Now it's moved to a more project management led state and I ain't got no where to hide. well, except behind Surprise high profile project -- and that's not helpful.

Anyhow, there are detailed diagrams now of the two alternatives that no one will look at.

Now off to make detailed diagrams for the 11 am meeting about Terrifying project.

Tags: dawn watch, terrifying project, work

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