E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

How bad can it be?

So, i have learned a few things about making bread, but not much. I have at least not repeated the teflon removing goo stage that ruined one loaf pan. (Mmm, that could be a reward for loaves that i am happy with: some really nice loaf pans.)

Reasons this bread will suck:

1. I am worried about Hans. The sourdough starter bubbles, but i think only that very first batches did it change volume noticeably. I then tried a equal flour to water feeding for a while, and then i went back to a wetter starter but fed more often, but i haven't been as attentive to feeding times. I saved some off this time, but i also have a big container in the fridge, too. I dunno.

2. I froze my soaked grains, because i had them ready and then changed my mind about Hans. I as worried about the sprouting rye berries getting funky. So, i froze them while i gave Hans some more time.

So i started the ferment and got impatient. Why let it go 24 hours. Or 12. And so i stopped the ferment after a few hours. It didn't seem the volume was changing. Maybe i waited too short a time. But i thought , "lets see how sensitive this is to changing the parameters." I don't think it will be inedible. So, i've mixed in the seeds and the remaining flour and left the loaves sitting there to .. ferment more? I'm not expecting any volume change.

So, if this turns out like the last loaves... well, i'll have learned something about the process. Get a new recipe, perhaps.

--== ∞ ==--

Christine and i spent hours talking today. It seemed we haven't talked like this for ages. Maybe since Mom's stroke? It was good, but we both felt it as heavy and draining. We do have a few plans, about next steps fixing an electrical issue with the microwave and installing a light in the garage, once the roof is done. I think the lamp we bought to have installed has been sitting out there a year. And then we'll also move forward with a shed on the side of the garage to shelter all the yard equipment. I don't know if i need a permit for that or not. I think not. It might be nice to roof it with the clear plastic roofing used for greenhouses: the light would be nice. Or a few panels of the clear and many of the opaque....

Anhow, good talking.

But i'm left with a heavy existential doubt. This is depression.

In positive things - I saw a tree frog hopping in the grass when i went out at dusk with Carrie. We are, at least, living in a way that the critters can thrive (up to the point Edward catches them). And even if the cursed stilt grass (Microstegium vimineum) is setting seed, i have gotten good bits cut down in time, even if not all. We are encouraging the wild and native plants. Edward, Luigi, and Carrie are happy. I am helping Mom & Dad when i work from their home (even if some of the existential questioning is from projecting myself 25 years out and thinking of aging).

Tags: depression, hans

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