E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

I found someone else, yet again, claiming wild yeast is better than store bought, because store bought only has the active ingredient and not the whole wild yeast.

From less "natural is magically better" sites, i conclude i should go back to the original more-moist feeding regimen. I'd like to improve my batch of rye bricks, and cutting the dough in half again is probably the first step in rapid improvement: more frequent baking, more frequent opportunities to improve. I know i need to let the rye sprout longer and stay soaked before baking, because the occasional rock hard rye seed is a bit unpleasant to run across. Once i get a good recipe, then i could go back to a bigger baking batch.

I wonder how much of a perfectionist i really am, or if years of therapy and depression worked, or what. I read reports of precise scientific baking, precise gardening, etc and nod: yes, this is how one goes about things. And then there i am last night stitching a patch on my gardening jeans with the thread tensions all out of whack. Yes, i could spend time sorting it out, but then the patching will never happen because the evening clock is ticking. So, full steam ahead, and it feels moderately secure. I think it was a reasonable cost-benefit exercise: less time than going to the thrift store and finding a new pair, exercised getting the machine out and refreshed my memory of how to use it.

If it ever rains again, my temptation right now is to just broadcast winter seeds and see what grows. Maybe i can motivate myself to prepare the beds a little better this week in the bit of day light.... Or perhaps i can pull the massively bright work lights out and garden under lights. Seed starting mix at the local farm store is in huge bags: i suppose i could pick some up and try starting in flats again.

Hmm, brain is in a self critical place this morning: i need to be compassionate as i start work today. The temptation to beat myself up for zoning all yesterday is high.

Tags: depression, garden, hans, perfectionist, procrastination

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