E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Spent yesterday afternoon as a couch potato while Christine was at the radio station, playing her recorded show (because it wasn't ready in time to be added to the computer managed programming). When i bestirred myself for a moment and realized her show was over, i did a small kitchen chore. I noted i wasn't motivated by what future me would need or want, but motivated by wanting to make Christine's return home. a little smoother.

And then i realized why i feel like self and home care are harder when we're apart: it's easier to motivate doing some things for her than it is to do them for future me. I'm not entirely sure what to do with that insight, but remembering to care for future me is important. I am using Mom's health issues as motivation for some physical fitness work for me.

I am going to trust the couch potato-ing is because i am fighting off some crud although there's a strong component of not wanting to get hot and sticky outside. There are things to do from inside, thought, plenty of things.

I am going to declare myself betterish, although i had a round of sweats already this morning. It was 68°, 84% humidity outside while 72°, 55% humidity inside: i don't think stepping outside would warrant a round of sweat.

In stilt grass news, i'm pondering pre-emergent grass herbicides. A guideline from "BLUE RIDGE PARTNERSHIP FOR REGIONAL INVASIVE SPECIES MANAGEMENT" mentions the use, and it turns out the same chemicals are effective for goose grass. That's so tempting. I'm imagining a little devil on my shoulder as i consider the possibility, but thinking about how smothering the goose grass was of the rain garden seedlings, a highly targeted used of an herbicide.....

Tags: depression, garden, procrastination

  • (morning writing, garden, quaker notes, weather, mom and caa, f&f, observe)

    We had rain! Which means the weeds will grow (i haven't missed them), but maybe the plants that haven't been eaten by rabbits or deer will also bound…

  • (no subject)

    Not sure what yesterday's problem with the phone was that siblings couldn't hear me -- maybe wifi reception where i was sitting? as i was using the…

  • (no subject)

    I hope mother's day unfolded in a way that was gentle with memory, delighting those of you in situations where that is possible. Christine ached a…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened