E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Spent yesterday afternoon as a couch potato while Christine was at the radio station, playing her recorded show (because it wasn't ready in time to be added to the computer managed programming). When i bestirred myself for a moment and realized her show was over, i did a small kitchen chore. I noted i wasn't motivated by what future me would need or want, but motivated by wanting to make Christine's return home. a little smoother.

And then i realized why i feel like self and home care are harder when we're apart: it's easier to motivate doing some things for her than it is to do them for future me. I'm not entirely sure what to do with that insight, but remembering to care for future me is important. I am using Mom's health issues as motivation for some physical fitness work for me.

I am going to trust the couch potato-ing is because i am fighting off some crud although there's a strong component of not wanting to get hot and sticky outside. There are things to do from inside, thought, plenty of things.

I am going to declare myself betterish, although i had a round of sweats already this morning. It was 68°, 84% humidity outside while 72°, 55% humidity inside: i don't think stepping outside would warrant a round of sweat.

In stilt grass news, i'm pondering pre-emergent grass herbicides. A guideline from "BLUE RIDGE PARTNERSHIP FOR REGIONAL INVASIVE SPECIES MANAGEMENT" mentions the use, and it turns out the same chemicals are effective for goose grass. That's so tempting. I'm imagining a little devil on my shoulder as i consider the possibility, but thinking about how smothering the goose grass was of the rain garden seedlings, a highly targeted used of an herbicide.....

Tags: depression, garden, procrastination

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