||[Jun. 5th, 2019|06:46 am]
Work: still flabbergasted that the project manager would have me scheduled at 175% capacity for weeks. And that he just waves his hands around and says he has my travel and time out on the calendar as if that makes scheduling work for me during that period OK. I was furious and frustrated, mainly because this project is mainly me doing technical analysis, and i'm terrified of the visibility. Fixed as far as my time is concerned but getting it fixed took both time from my manager and i. I am apparently not the first person to complain about this guy's competence.
First tick bite: no idea what i did to "deserve" it. I guess it's a sign the deer are much closer to the house now? Which doesn't track with all the hoof prints i saw winter and spring. (Literally and figuratively.) Still, i'm delighted that the place hasn't been crawling with the creatures, and this is better than last year's first date in mid April.
Mom's doctors called with the next steps which is to schedule a meeting within the next ten days. Both my sister and i are indignant about this being "next steps" as we would like more information. What they told my father was the results of the PET scan indicates an 84% chance of cancer; while the biopsy is less confident and indicates a 68% chance of cancer. Dad seemed startled when i asked if he asked what the relative accuracy of the two methods were. I guess i read too much about polling data these days. Apparently the type PET scan mom had is fairly accurate ("90% to 94% accurate in the characterization of malignant or benign lung nodules, with a sensitivity of 94% to 96% and specificity of 78% to 86%" per this article which does find some complications in that glowing commendation). It sounds like there could be some chance that they may recommend do nothing which may be that the mortality this early on in this lung cancer is much lower than the combination of the cerebral amyloid angiopathy and the fibrosis, or because this is so early we can wait for Mom to recover more from the stroke?
The help Dad had been getting three times a week has stopped: it sounds like the assistant was fired from the company that was managing the care. Dad can't bear the thought of bringing on a new person at this point. I am comforted by the plan for my mother's sister to visit for a couple of weeks, starting while i am away. My brother's family arrives this weekend, i think, so there will be additional presence around for my Dad for a bit.
Mom is on a higher dose of anti-anxiety medication and has become much more easy for Dad to care for. I surmise that had she been able to allay her anxiety enough to start therapy years and years ago... well, it's good she can get a little relief now.
I do wonder how much help my visits are. I know they are valued, but should i be helping more somehow? Like helping with exercises.
Green beans are at the edge of producing. Okra is thinking about it. The early red potatoes could be harvested. Tomatoes are thriving. Blueberries are heavy on the small bushes. Sweet corn is knee high. Peppers aren't so happy: could be due to mixing in to much wood chips and depleting available nitrogen.
AAGGHHH TRAVEL SO FAR AWAY SO SOON