My sister is planning on taking a day off a week to relieve Dad. She tried working from their home and is clear that's not happening (and i'm not surprised).
There's this tension being with Mom: yes, let her independently roll down the hall, but show up when she gets to the door to the bedroom to help her make the turn by pivoting the wheelchair with a little lift. Dad is too tired to really let her do the independent thing. If she's carrying a glass and drops it, it's more work for him -- particularly knee bending arthritic work.
And i'm pretty sure that she's decided Dad and i are in it together, telling her doctors what to do and what not. Apparently, if Dad is home, Mom won't let the hired caregiver give care. And she's berating him for slacking off etc.
I just don't even know.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/750293.html .