E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,
E.G.
elainegrey

Ooof x 2

So, i went over and spent the day with Mom and Dad on Thursday and Friday. Then there was an extra day, which we are calling ER-day, where Christine and I stayed in the ER with Mom & Dad, and then there was Saturday, where i could not sleep in, and ended up watching hours and hours of Netflix's Lucifer in a daze.

Mom at home reverted to Mom of pre-cognitive decline bitter anger. longishCollapse )

Mom has broken her ankle on her weak leg. The splint will essentially be the same as the boot she should have been wearing but got lost at the hospital. She will be able to continue to have her leg recover from the stroke. And this will give the medical team another chance to evaluate sub-acute rehab care, and Mom will go from hospital to sub acute care, which is apparently easier than from home.

I had said to Christine on Thursday night, when reflecting on my mother's hissy-fit when we brought her home on Tuesday, and her temper-tantrum on Thursday (not sharing the physical kicking and hitting), that i felt i was emotionally prepared to deal with Mom's behavior. "She can't betray me any more than she has," i said. And with that behind me, any reiteration of the emotional abuse from childhood - asserting her judgements of my unfitness as a human being - will slide off because i know the statements are completely untrue.

What i am not prepared for is my anger for how she treats my father and the bind she puts him in.

There is also a selfish tired voice in my mind grumbling about all the time i took off last week and how it was "for naught."

We will now be far more prepared when mom comes home again, starting with 24 or 12 hour care and then working to what is sustainable, instead of testing our ability and bringing help in if needed. I had been reflecting on all the therapists and the absence of a psychological therapist in the care team. I called my sister and asked her to get in touch with my mom's primary care provider and the need for psychological assessment. Minimally, Mom needs some help in addressing her denial around her bodily needs. Ideally, assessments about appropriateness of care will include Mom's willingness to work with Dad. Admittedly, the presence of an "authority" (paid caregiver) will inspire more cooperation than she's willing to give to my father.

Tags: mom and caa
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