E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Dream residue

"Dream residue" -- good name for a band?

Back at my work desk with the bright light blazing in my face.

The training went well Wednesday. I was drained by being so alert to everyone's energy: sister, mother, father, aunt. In the evening my sister thanked me for the "chill out" warning i flashed to her when my dad was practicing the pivot transfer with my mom. Most of my energy was trying to make space for my mom, who was ready to engage with her therapists, and my dad, who can get pounced on by women-folk in our family. That is, he can ask a question or say something to try to be humorous and get corrected pretty quickly.

The speech pathologist was the most rewarding to work with, mainly because that's where we all are delighted with Mom's progress and excited to help. In particular, Mom has been a reader all her life, and returning her to that delight is important. The pathologist was extremely delighted at Mom's progress to sentences.

The occupational therapist was a sub, so there was no particular insight, just coaching on transfer methods. What will be important is learning how to help mom from the occupational therapist who comes to the house, assesses bathing options, and provides the strategies for Mom's daily living.

The physical therapist was delighted with mom's sentence greeting him -- thrilled! -- and we went over some of the home return details. My dad defines "ramp" very specifically (per construction code) and so there was some confusion between ramp & his "wedge." With my aunt and sister getting agitated i asked my dad if what he meant by wedge was like the structure in the rehab room: indeed it was. Sister and aunt roll their eyes and it wasn't until later that Dad explained his precise meaning of ramp. Then they became a little more patient. But the impatience and policing of my dad, which my aunt is particularly bad about, is irritating.

The doctor was a interim for the day, so i'm not even sure that she was that well aware with Mom's CAA diagnosis. Mainly she was there to provide process information. The case worker is great and we did have some good discussions about options. The most interesting was a discussion about hospital beds where Mom struggled and finally communicated that there was a bed she and Dad had bought a year ago that was upstairs which could have the height adjusted to match the wheel chair.

After training i had lunch with my dad and aunt, then bolted off to my therapy appointment. My therapist's mother had a stroke, and so she may be a one person caregiver support group. In the evening i met my condition of enoughness, marking the locations for more fence posts around the garden so i can pound them in as small tasks during lunch, and then getting the halogen work lamp and long power cord arranged so i can use that to work after dark.

My aunt sent an email just to my sister and i ranting about my father's lack of everything. My sister had heard more about what my aunt said directly to my father and wrote a loving but clear "back off" message. And apparently hat to repeat the back off message via text. It would be lovely if my aunt was actually providing research support: instead of just "you need bead alarms!" looking into where they can be obtained, what ones are recommended, what the options are, etc. But no.

Last night we went grocery shopping (usual Monday trip overridden by New Years Eve) and while at the grocery my dad called. He was at a bar near the grocery so we went and joined him. He'd had a bit much to drink already, scrambled Christine's pronouns (but introduced us both as daughters), and repeated how bitter and angry my aunt was and how he treated him. I wasn't happy about letting him drive home, but i didn't have my driver's license with me. Both events cut into my time and energy for doing my condition of enoughness for the day.

We have more rain, the top layer of soil is so completely saturated.... I worry about many of the new trees and new grass drowning. Looks like we will have a week without rain after this, though so maybe we can have a bit of a drying out.

Work was OK on Thursday, but i'm not off to a great start today. I'm getting frustrated with the RSA phone app that will theoretically give me access to the VPN. It would be good to use the app now that i am will be going back and forth to my folks house to work, but if it won't initiate....

Tags: 354, coe, f&f, mom and caa, weather

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