E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Tuesday journaling before work

In inner adventures [Monday], i was aware of my negative thoughts as i beat myself up over a number of things. One theme was lack of follow through on intention. I wonder if my sense of there being less time these days is due to a habit of avoidance, changing my focus to escape follow through when i feel ... i suppose it's a fear of not doing the task well. "Task" isn't a good label, as often the "task" is simple friendly communication with the intent of staying connected. I feel like i turn into a black hole, not responding or even providing a glimpse of my gratitude for connection and for the person who has said hello.

At the end of the day, though, i managed to get the Meeting minutes out, and i think i had a fairly successful work day.

I also have negative thoughts about my gardening and care of the land. I did cheer myself with the thought i haven't seen any Virginia Creeper for a while. I then brought myself back to ground -- it's barely spring. I think we're about a month behind last year - i'd planted corn by this date last year! Mustard/turnip greens were blooming, and i was having salads of yellow flowers. Potatoes had sprouted. I'm certain i've set all the tubers up for rot this year.

In stories of plant mortality, the gardenia looks very deceased from the cold. I can only say the flowers do have a nice scent and pretty petal pattern, but i generally have not liked the plant. I'm not sad to see it go. I realized it's a location where i could plant a hybrid tea rose for Christine to enjoy. There's an arc of three crepe myrtles and a hybrid tea would be a better size than the 7' high gardenia.

I do suspect that when i return from the west coast, i'll find myself looking around a transformed landscape. The forecast for the next ten days looks like good growing weather.

Tags: morning writing

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