E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

It has been a very relaxing holiday, although i have been in an odd emotional state in the evenings. I will refer to it as "cranky" for lack of a precise description.

Wednesday early release: i raked leaves, walked back in the woods and found The Rock, and i think i did something to my back. I was very cranky in the evening.

Thursday: brunch & a movie (Birdman) here with Christine's sister & her husband. Very low key. Then we joined my parents, my sister's clan, and her husband's sister's clan for Thanksgiving desert. My sister's children are older than their cousins, and it's enough of an age gap that i think my nephew W as the eldest (in this gathering) feels the odd one out. I had a similar gap with my cousins and empathized. So he and i spent some time together.

Friday: after a sleep in, i went out on the lake with my dad, my nephew W, and the elderly dog. It was beautiful (but not really photogenic), and i tried to use my camera. The one shot i really wanted resulted in me stubbing my middle toe on some )(*&)# wood platform thing dad has sitting in the middle of the floor. I soaked my toe in the lake water (yikes, cold), but it's definitely going very blue black. No evidence it needs medical care, but it joined my back as possible sources of the cranky evenings.

Yesterday: the day started with me in good spirits: my compost is at 110°F! We went out and did some clearing right off the back of the deck. Most of what was cleared out were the trunks of large trees that had been cut down some time before we bought the place. Stilt grass had grown in the clearing made by the branches of the downed trees, so that during the summer the grass couldn't be weedwhacked due to the branches and the branches were hard to get at due to the high grass.

My sister & W stopped by to get my dad's trailer (and took the tiller with it). While they were here, i led them and Christine back to The Rock. Getting the cargo net out of our truck i stumbled in one of the countless little holes and sprained my right ankle, again. Score: back, middle right toe, right ankle.

I think i missed when i should have eaten, and so i broke for lunch and stayed in as Christine continued working. Inner voices of not being productive nagged me while my inner six year old was "don't wanna". Another cranky evening. I also wonder if going back in the woods and seeing the work needed to get rid of my nemesis, autumn olive, leads to a certain quality of mood colored with disappointment and being overwhelmed.

Maybe i should go make some offering at The Rock.

My mind is on trying to sort out what my moodiness is about, but stepping back from that mystery, it's been a lovely holiday. I want to share photos of happy things, like the compost thermometer, time on the lake, and pumpkin ricotta, but i am all backed up with process. Time with family has been warm and loving, not overwhelming.

Speaking of pumpkin ricotta: one large tub of ricotta + one 16 oz can of pumpkin (roughly 2:1 in volume), drained for at least 12 hours, mixed with powdered sugar and spices to taste is THE BEST THING EVER. Spread on toast. Put in fancy puff pastry cups. Eat out of the bowl. Pipe on to pumpkin bread.

I have finally identified one of the ferns growing around the house: ebony spleenwort. It's low growing and not very dramatic, but i do like it. There are other larger ferns, and i worry a little that clearing out the autumn olive might clear out the shade needed for those other ferns.

Potluck at meeting today: i'm wrestling with hermit-y feelings in conflict with a sense that community is Good For You,® and therefore i should go.

Tags: log, observe

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