And framing and focus.
That is my experience, and in no way does it mean that one should not work towards justice or offer compassion.
There are some frames and focus by which this year has been horrible. Christine's depression is significant and seemingly ever present. My three months as an invalid seems like lost time.
And yet i feel lighter in my heart, and i don't think it's just that i have a new position at work. The work situation is improving. And maybe that's where this sense of gratitude and providence arises: my work life eased as my care for Christine became more significant. While i don't think my mother is "better," my sister has a new home where she and her family can live in joy and grace.
In other news, my back has been spasming with lower back pain all day. Christine's gone to get groceries so i unloaded the dishwasher. Ha, that wasn't bright. Probably should take comments about suffering from someone in discomfort with a shaker of salt.
This is also posted at http://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/540279.html .