||[Jul. 12th, 2014|06:40 am]
I read The Oldest Living Things in the World by Rachel Sussman yesterday, quitting work early.No insomnia was involved: Amazon's 2:47 am delivery was their commitment to have it in my email box between midnight and 3 am.
I enjoyed reading it, and file it in my mind as another model of book i could write.
I felt my photographic skills were reasonably validated, although i recognize she's using significantly more complicated film and formats. It's tempting to consider medium format photography, but i think i can be comfortable living between the extreme of professional kit and consumer tools.
My writing: oh, once upon a time i thought i could write! I now ponder that perhaps if i took time to go past first draft, i could write once again. (Three drafts of an email to staff this week in response to an outburst of unacceptable behavior.)
So, how to keep moving on?
Christine has already been trampled byElephants this morning. I'm feeling steady, leading me to believe that a week ago i was, indeed, under the weather. It's so hard not to project. I know what spiral my thoughts would be in if i were her: but we are not shaped by the same deep chthonic forces. Empathy needs then to be able to project and yet not over project.
I shared with my sister earlier this week that Elephant Wrangling on Christine's part is part of The Solution, the process by which we free ourselves from dependence on my salaried position. Elephant wrangling tools are accessible to us right now, and she's making good use of them. I know i had begun to feel trapped again, pinned against my career, but reminding myself that this work is just as much a part of The Solution as is learning biology has helped me recognize our forward progress.
We are not trapped.
We do have work.
Meeting this week hasn't helped.
I ignited a great deal of consternation that has not been settled, and flared again this week. I will spend time discerning today.