Which is a blessing in the sense that i have some moments to myself, but in those moments a certain amount of the blues are stirred up.
I now pick up Honeybee by Naomi Nye and read her poem, "Our Best Selves" and wonder. She writes with a certain hope and pain about the brokenness in the world, the specific brokenness of the United States and the middle east. That is such a big pain, my pain of suspecting that my little team is going to erode away, perhaps long before the members are ready, is dwarfed. One, two, three, four, five lives that have shared work for over a decade... Two staff members would have a very hard time with a layoff -- perhaps another as well.... No layoffs this year, but a feeling of change to come.
The new CIO may disperse these clouds for me, but they have settled on my heart as my next hire will be located in Ohio.
I drink my coffee drug.
[Much more time passes, still blue]
[There was supposed to be a photo here]
It's possible i am just aching from having to stop enjoying the glorious landscape in Mendocino county.