I wonder where time has gone, that your journal posts have sagas i have not read. I hold the writers in my heart, appreciating your travels and holding hope for your travails. (Hope, especially when it seems so hard.)
Yesterday, i failed in my little goals (hello, dopamine). Failed, but not in a "kick myself" way -- in a observation way. I would actually say the goals were a meta-success as i was able to recognize i was not putting boundaries around myself to protect myself from work. Being aware that i wasn't enforcing a boundary is a good achievement.
I am disappointed though that i have a stack of too much work to do on my plate between now and Friday, but i hope i can do a good enough job quickly and avoid extended work days. If i could get back to eight-ish hour days! I know the ideal would be to have sprints spread out over more than eight hours, with true rests in between. The Energy Project's reviews of performance have convinced me of this. As the block of time that gets consumed by meetings is a marathon and organizes my day upside down from how i would be most effective, though, the boundary of a beginning and end is the best i can do.
And as i told New Director recently, as he tried to pile on praise, getting us more staff is the thanks i want. I should not be giving them more staff by working so long.
I do wish i could bill other engineering teams for time spent troubleshooting issues they blame on our system. Instead of billing, i'd be satisfied if they could just send all the details at one time to allow me and my colleague to track down their issue. "Wail, X isn't showing up," means responding, "What test institution, what user did you authenticate with? What permission is required for X?" and getting fragmented responses, still requiring some educated guesses. In the end: not our fault.
Side note: really cranky with one of the co-clerks from meeting for not reading an email a few weeks ago. His anxiety about certain Meeting topics irks me, and now i understand my irk. I suspect the information he feels is missing has been available but he's missed it. In missing it, he assumes absence not his own miss.
And when he read my email, that i sent to him again, he replied, "My jaw drops. This is wonderful organization." I don't feel praise. I feel frustrated that he put me on the spot last night when he might have engaged weeks ago with the email. Fie.
On Labor Day, i picked a dish of green beans, a whole bowl. I am delighted: produce from my own garden! Really! We've not eaten them: i am making my usual mistake of putting something off until it can be truly appreciated (and thus missing it at it's best).
Tuesday, my dawn view of the east was a clear golden sky with a few high cloud silhouettes. Driving to work, the peninsula was clear with remnant marine layer over the bay proper and to the north. At work, there was a snowy egret standing on the submerged outfall, one of the favorite feeding spots. Egrets, gulls, mallards, and coots seem to be annual residents, with a female ruddy duck and a male scaup hanging out off and on over the summer.
Last night as the Worship and Ministry committee sat in waiting silence at the end of our (well facilitated! intentional!) meeting, the wind gusted outside, trees rustled with the sound of a coming storm, and a wooden gate banged against it's post. It was as if Autumn announced arrival.