Well that was emotionally draining, unplanned, and unexpected. However, i think the first point will be talk to a financial advisor because it's still possible loosing a big chunk of my retirement money now in exchange for owning a home when i retire might be a responsible decision.
Then there's the whole question of staying in the SF Bay Area: discernment on purpose first, decision about house next.
(But wow, i just blew through a great deal of discernment energy.)
So yesterday i did passing well with my commitments. I forgot antidepressants and had a major slowdown by 2:30 pm: coffee helped. We went out to dinner with friends somewhat spur of the moment (despite our agreement to have dinner together the last Friday of the month), and i had my rough budget for tortillas and some chips. I hadn't really committed to whether alcohol falls under this sugar & starch discipline or not. Without a commitment, i had a mango mojito.
We had the most bizarre waiter, though, who seemed to insist we have a party. He had the restaurant servers do the happy birthday chant for me, and then he brought us unordered desert with a candle. We all had a few bites, giving in on the desert denial. Random birthday festivities on a Friday night. A little strange, but we rolled with it.