E.G. (elainegrey) wrote,

Where am i?

I am more or less headache free, although i had a good ache yesterday following lots of ache the days before.

Yesterday i didn't get all my "conditions of enoughness" done but i did get the laundry done.

I did meet with the clarity program counsellor. One of the exercises was going through how one has been taught to see success (culture's definition, parents' definition for themselves, parents' definition for one's self, one's own definition). Apparently, it's an examination many have not done. For me it's part of how i have had to learn to relate to depression.

The next step is learning to listen to my physical responses in aid of my discernment. I think i've learned to listen to the negative responses at a basic level, but positive signals? Oh, i am still pretty deaf to that. I have a strong awareness of taking deep breaths and settling into relaxation, but stilling myself is different from listening to joy.

The analytic homework for our next session is easy, but being prepared to listen for a joy response.... Well, it's a lesson that i know will be far more widely applicable and meaningful than getting my resume phrased just so. I won't let that be a stopper before i meet with her again, but i do want to experience it once or twice before i go forward.

Tags: clarity program, morning writing

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