November 16th, 2021


(no subject)

I am in the fuzzy place of "do i have a cold or is this allergies," but I'm not 100%.

I was in a happy place for Tuesday's therapy, and i was asked what had me so happy. New car? Lovely weather? Time with sister? Christine in good cheer?

Christine was in a terrible mood due to Some Other Person when i got out of therapy -- she only just pulled out of her funk well after 5 pm -- and i did find myself feeling more down. Also, strange tensions with my boss as i think he's feeling more uncertain about his role with the recent reorg. So up and down, with some evidence other's moods do affect mine despite my trying to keep a sense of "this is my mood, that is yours."

She ran an errand just as i was taking lunch, and i thought she'd be back, so i sat reading while eating, waiting. I finally went out to get mail at the end of my lunch break and found her sitting in the truck. My waiting wasn't really conscious; i only realized it when i was disappointed. I ended up working late on Tuesday so didn't get outside time. I hope to rake a little during the lunch break today.

--== ∞ ==--

Mom is home from the hospital, and Dad got a shout out in the visit notes, "Lovely husband providing phenomenal home care and support in setting of past CVA [cerebrovascular accident, aka stroke] w/ ongoing deficits."

I observe my mother's voice in my mind, bitterly dismissing any praise of Dad. "He snowed them, fooled them. They don't know him really." So glad that's the only place i hear that voice now. I do wish i could evict it. I used it to bolster my faith in Dad's care, and try to downgrade my worry about the toileting difficulties.

My sister reports my brother is going to help my dad re-structure bits of the house to make things easier for him. This will be fantastic. AND my sister is not going to be angry about my brother keeping his stuff in the house: what a win!

--== ∞ ==--

Kitta grau, the rye sour culture, is being refreshed. In our cold house i am putting the jar of culture on top of a mug of boiling water and wrapping with a towel. I've decided that just in general our house is too cold. Rye bakers probably had a stove that was pretty warm even if their houses were generally colder.
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