January 16th, 2021

blackhat

Telepathy (random)

I am suspicious as many are that "social media" has driven the darker impulses of human behavior. But when i think of the national guard in Washington DC right now, i think of Oklahoma City, Waco, and Ruby Ridge. Talk radio was there before social media. A friend mentioned GamerGate as presaging violence, and all i could think about was the violence which has been a throughline for America, against the indigenous peoples, against Blacks (what a complicated construct, that), against women. Social media has let us hear what people used to say in the confine of their own heads, or in a bar, or in the hall, or the locker room. I think of the speculative fiction tropes about telepathy and how hearing unfiltered thoughts of so many can drive one mad.

"Don't read the comments."

That's my unfiltered thoughts. Christine and i spent some time these past weeks talking about social media as she prepares her next chapter in The Soundtrack of Now. I realize how narrowly i scope "social media" and how myopic my thought is. I think about blogging and facebook and twitter and wouldn't have thought of Flickr and youtube and medium.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/839066.html .
blackhat

Clearness for clearness (muddy spring)

Asking that which Is for clarity about next steps


I sit under the great world tree
branches arching across the night sky
creating a web, a network
each star the light of a life
connected to other stars
the roots fanning out
grounding, rooting

I hold this heart location while
slouched on the couch
in my warm home
snores of cats
Christine and Carrie off for.a walk

The abstract connection
is something i can believe in

but now i pick up my place
one of billions of stars

and the networks connecting me to others
don't just happen

i feel the strength of my connection
to my Love
to my Dad
a strange broken and knotted connection to my Mom
to my sister

to a few colleagues at work
-- and now, maybe, i see
"community'--
these connections to my colleagues
that i feel so clearly
are wound in and around
so many others
gossamer filaments to people who have moved on

i brush against some connections made of Yule cards
sense a potential
and a mystery
once upon a time correspondence connected me so tightly
can email do that? can i correspond?

My nephew! My niece! THESE connections
We need each other

So -- just now
one of the two women who i feel some
connection to at meeting writes --
a family emergency.
I text support. An offer to bring a meal.
Knowing how awkward food offers can be
This little thread between us - -what does it mean?
Should i feed it, fuel it, strengthen it?
All the little threads radiating from me
harp strings, heart strings

Which ones to care for? And --

RIGHT --

what about me?

I don't believe in zero sum
That i have a fixed amount of love light energy

I believe it's possible to multiply

And i don't know that i am multiplying at my Meeting.

No.

I know i am not multiplying at my Meeting.

So.