January 2nd, 2021

blackhat

2020 seeds for you?

I've Baker Creek Strawberry Spinach (Chenopodium capitatum) and extra Baker Creek Salad Burnet seeds. The Strawberry spinach wasn't robust enough for this climate. The Salad burnet is doing just fins, but there's only so much i can use. Might be more interesting in alkaline soil than in my acidic clay.

Also, Tronchuda or Portuguese kale - https://www.rareseeds.com/store/vegetables/kale/tronchuda-kale -- if the plants take off this spring i'll have plenty. If the plants go to seed, well i am growing them hoping they will be perennial. And if they are freeze killed, sigh.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/837117.html .
blackhat

Tender and succulent (quaker notes, cooking, eating notes, photography)

Maryland style crab cakes are so not "cakes" but, wow, is it a delicious way to prepare crab. I used this recipe, scaled down by a quarter but with a whole egg and some celery, and made it while Christine was out of the house. Her trip depressed her, and i feel a little guilty not joining her -- i could have distracted her! Or not encouraged a drive down memory lane on a dismal day! -- but i cooked and ate, took another photo for my daily gallery, and made progress in garden planning.

The photo is not as in focus as i would like, and i need to learn how to use this macro lens in which i invested. However, i got all the right kit out, after several backs and forth, and think i have things packed back up in a way that will ease getting out my "mini studio" for a shoot. The ring light -- some cheap thing from almost a year ago that was an asked-for gift -- worked just right.

Today's forecast is YET MORE CLOUDS.

I attended a Quaker worship with a deep hour of waiting worship. I need this, having lost the habit, and having less time weeding mosses as i did in my first years here. Midway during worship i had the clarity that i am afraid and that it is safe to be afraid. I don't have much experience with letting myself feel fear, but i think i've held those feelings away during this pandemic. It was a little free floating fear, a mishmash of pandemic, my memory and my mother's dementia, and something around Quakers and separating myself from my current meeting for what i need. That's got fear of failure mixed in it, which is a fear i suppress and which leads to a good bit of my depression. Anyhow, the safety of my faith allows feeling the fear, faith that i can be the person with my feelings, and that it is better to be her than a person without. It was good, a bit of clearing away.

One small problem, i realize, is that for years my meditations were visualized as work in imaginary gardens. These visualizations now get pulled into concrete gardening thoughts: not meditations. I think i might be able to continue if i make the visualizations more fantastic and ethereal.
This is also posted at https://elainegrey.dreamwidth.org/837359.html .