April 6th, 2020

blackhat

Monday Monday Monday! (Covid-19, mom and caa, garden, critter watch, watching notes)

This weekend I pretty much avoided email and only realized what I pile of personal messages I had at hand this morning. I also overslept this morning.

I will admit that reading your links and concerns and angers about governmental response to COVID-19 was depressing. Not that I have any disagreements, particularly. I think the reality is slowly sinking in for me between all the distractions of immediately urgent concerns (work, sorting out Meeting worship, various household troubles).

I continue to have some resentment of people who find themselves with time to reflect and refresh as i feel exhausted. I say this to acknowledge the place i am in, not to imply any one speaking of how they are using their time to slow down is in some way wrong. It’s to acknowledge a feeling of jealousy, knowing intellectually that many in that situation have significant concerns about how they will support themselves and the slowing down is part of coping with significant uncertainties.

All my thinking seems to be the way people describe chess moves: considering five moves out. Work is all about tracing impacts of decisions. As Christine and I discussed an electronic way for my sister to pay us for her half of a ham gift for my parents, she noted she is amazed by the complexifications entailed by these circumstances. No task seems to be free of analysis.

Meanwhile, news that a number of Bronx Zoo tigers have COVID-19 (one tested positive while others are similarly sick) depresses me.

That feeling when you blow your nose in a sheet of toilet paper. Oops.

On the other hand, I found an N95 mask and refill filters in the garage, protected from mouse droppings. Huzzah.

Mom may have something wrong with her kidneys: the UTIs may have either traveled or something else is going on. I am trying to let that weigh light on me, much as i was able to hold concerns about her lungs. Overwhelmingly, my concern is for her and Dad’s quality of life, and the kidney issue is a small part.

Saturday and Sunday evenings i heard a very busy pileated woodpecker. I saw them on Saturday night after following the sound to bark falling from high in the pines. Sunday i assume it was a woodpecker and not a human in the wooded parcel. There were also deer-like sounds of walking around. It wasn’t consistent enough for a human but hesitant like a critter. The evenings have been lovely with the long shadows. Moon light was obscured by clouds last night, but perhaps to

Watching a carefully selected set of Babylon 5 season 1 episodes, based on the guidance at https://www.geek.com/geek-cetera/babylon-5-condensed-how-to-watch-sci-fis-most-intimidating-masterpiece-1613627/ The 80’s come back to mind (i was under a rock during the 90s, so i really cant track how much is 90s styles.)

Notes from the garden: Collapse )

I’ll sign off here. I hold my thoughts that you all may be safe and free of fear, with the capacity to find joys around you.