December 17th, 2019


Unexpected vacation

When i arrived home i found out a number of surprising things:

Dad had a colonoscopy on Tuesday
Mom and Dad are going to Dad's mother's on Christmas day through Jan 4
Sister L's family is taking a eleven day vacation in Hawaii, leaving Dec 20.

The third shouldn't have been a surprise, but no one in L's family brought it up over Thanksgiving, and i think i hadn't heard about it since my sister "retired."

I am taking off more time this holiday than i ever have voluntarily. I am sad that there is no overlap with L's kids vacation, and so on.

Meanwhile, Dad was thrashing on his coordination for the colonoscopy. If i didn't know that Mom-care had him at capacity, i would be irritated. So after a number of discussions where it was clear he hadn't read all the instructions (of which i have a copy since i'm scheduled for mine in early January), we finally settled on L staying with Mom and i taking Dad and waiting the four hours. I figured i'd get something done.

So i expected that i would be rushing out the door Tuesday morning to get to my parents to work from there until 11:30, then take Dad to his colonoscopy.

7 am, Sister L writes, "...I am really sick. What should we do? Do you think it’s enough for me to wear the mask and stuff? I just don’t want to get mom and dad sick. It feels irresponsible but I don’t know what else to do. Help!"

I replied she could take Dad, i'd stay with Mom. And then i realized that if i was with Mom for a long time, i shouldn't work. She'd definitely not ask me to help her to the bathroom if i was working. (In the end, she didn't ask me and said no whenever i asked her. Maybe i should have pressed. Oy.) Collapse )

It looks like Monday will be rainy: maybe i'll return for a more candy making and photos that day.

Mom is not wanting to go to Florida, but i reminded her that we'd been on a road trip this fall and she did OK. She shares that she's not normal, and there was a brief conversation where she shared she is "ignorant."

Her cognitive issues are so different from Alzheimer's, which seems to have a significant factor of "fantasy" where the person is living in some other reality. Mom's in a shared reality, it's just that so much of the reality is gone. I'm trying hard to stop saying "remember" when talking to her. We can remember for her.