October 4th, 2018

blackhat

Depression

Therapy yesterday: right now i think of therapy as a disciplined checkpoint on following through with good mental health practices. The week of Kava-NO (as Christine quips) sucked my life away. I can't imagine what it was like for those who had personal experiences to compound it: thank you, my friends, for sharing here.

My therapist gets ecstatic at the thought of ripe persimmons, so she was delighted to hear my first fruit tree was a persimmon. I do tap into joy thinking about the orchard, and that wave of anxiety i had about getting it Right has long sense faded. But this blasted cough (not quite a month old yet, the sinus infection began over Labor Day weekend) exhausts me and weighs yard work with a great dampening.


Right now everything i think about brings up negative responses. Collapse )


I think i am still mourning the beautiful grass in the orchard: how my heart leapt as the vision became visible!


Between the factors of asthma flare, dead grass, horrible news, and the shortening of the days i think i can explain feeling down in the dumps without being concerned about going off antidepressants. Somehow, though, i need to trick myself to reframe.

blackhat

(no subject)

Joys

The delight evinced by a working group leader when i join the call. Note to self: do this when you are the working group leader.

Toasted sharp cheddar cheese and tomato sandwich.

Apparently in the white mock turtleneck top and the over the ear headset, i have a striking resemblance to "Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope"'s Princess Leia on video conference screens.

Sads

Just noticed the seed heads on the stilt grass. Fie.

Edward ate a bird. Possibly a blue bird. At least he eats all of what he hunts.

Triggers Collapse )