December 7th, 2016


Work Trigger

"you should write this up in a document so the terms can be looked up and studied. i keep loosing the details and getting the words confused" -- S-E to me.

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Getting a "you should write something up so i won't be confused," just triggers all my frustration with the years he used this avoidance pattern.

And maybe i SHOULD have written something up, and so my procrastination self starts the whole sackcloth and ashes thing -- which actually looks more like "Eat all the sweets in the house." Not helping.

There's some other thing bothering me too: I got a call on my cell from my parent's home number. I couldn't reach it in time so i called back immediately. As it rang, i figured one of my parents was leaving a message. Finally, an answer. It was my mother who swore she had been on the phone to my sister. Meanwhile, i received a voicemail from my Dad. (He has their phone set up in curious ways using IP services: i wonder if it's possible for him to be calling out "apparently" from their home number while a call is active on that line.)

Mom's insistence that "that's not what happened" was also a bit of button pushing. I didn't argue: long learned lesson there as she has a very hard time viewing things from multiple POV.

[Wrote this Wednesday afternoon as i was thrashing to get back to work. Instead i ended up having many messages back and forth with S-E as he wrestled with concepts. I am thankful that he is wrestling: not wrestling and making assumptions causes many unintended circumstances.]