July 8th, 2015

blackhat

(no subject)

Woe. I've some sinus infelicity and hope this has resolved before my planed flight east later in the month.

Meanwhile, the construction has begun next door. Bang, bang, bang. It is driving home the knowledge of our neighbor's forced departure.

We investigated our our-of-network health claims today. I now wonder if my calculations about going to the more expensive insurance were correct: it turns out that the charge for service is only considered up to the medicare contracted fee. Thus, 40% of the out-of-network provider fee is totally ignored. Back to the spreadsheet. [Edited to add: whew, we still come out ahead paying for the more expensive insurance that subsidizes out of network providers.]

I'm fighting my sweet cravings with carrot chips. I just found a second bag in the fridge, so apparently it's my intent to fight, at least.

I had my first self therapy session today. That is, i sat down and wrote what i would say if i was visiting a therapist. It was useful. I probably haven't been journalling as much as i used to because i don't feel free to write about the elephant in the room here. Writing in a private venue, imagining i was talking to a therapist, helped me process. The best parts were not having a commute and not having to give a long background. At the end of the session i was clear that what i am dealing with is loss. Having that frame helps.