April 2nd, 2015

blackhat

Letter Meme from Snippy

snippy gave me the letter B

Something I hate: branding. Please do not ask me to name your product (or my product, for that matter).

Something I love: boraginaceae - the borage family. These five petaled flowers grow on a stem in a coil. Some plants have the coiling stem more obvious than others. In forget-me-nots and borage and houndstounge the coil is loose, while in heliotrope and phacelia the flowers are tightly packed in the spiral.

Somewhere I've been: Boston, once, when a friend and i were theoretically looking at MIT & Harvard for graduate school. I'd decided it was too far from where Christine would be and had been comfortable with my visit to a different school. So while my friend hung out with her sweetheart from high school, i walked across Boston and visited their art museum. It's a fairly blurry memory except for the Greek vases.

Somewhere I'd like to go: Basin & Range - can that count? I am fascinated by the landscape between the Rockies and the Sierras and would love to ramble across it.

Someone I know: My last name begins with B, so that's a list. My brother's dog is named Buster

A film I like: Blade Runner (i can't believe they're remaking it: whyyyyyyyy)

A book I like: Beekeeper's Apprentice - I do enjoy the Laurie R King stories of Sherlock Holmes and this young woman very much. I think it is my fondness of the inner life of the Russell character: a slight crankiness that also mixes with delight and enthusiasm.

blackhat

(no subject)

Current pondering various financial strategies for housing. We don't have a pressure on us, but i wonder about paying rent vs paying (equity+interest)+taxes+insurance. If the later is better, switching sooner is better. Yet water shortage and uncertainty whether we could stay here without my current job.... So, ponder. We've set a moratorium on decision making so that we can spend the time pondering, dreaming, imagining with intention.

Becoming an orchardist with peaches and various fruits and nuts in coastal Carolina areas passes through my mind as wishful thinking.

--==∞==--

I shared with Christine my impression that i am slower and not getting as much done as i used to. (Not talking about my employed activity here.) Could it be that in the years of dealing with trauma and angst, with depression, the effort crowded everything else and made it seem to me like i was interacting more? (The "done" as i think of it is reading the morning news and folks' journals and my email as well as my journaling and introspection.) Perhaps i am doing more unrecorded introspection? I can't help but believe that this sense of less done and time evaporating is an illusion (although time is pretty illusory), and that my capacity is more now.

My goals for "Conditions of Enoughness" were met yesterday, and i'm trying to not write, "The goals were embarrassingly meager and i can't imagine not meeting them, but i haven't met goals for so long." Belittling and beating myself up isn't going to help. I met the goals! Yay!