October 31st, 2014

blackhat

(no subject)

It seems grey out there, and i am reminded rain is predicted. The Ham Cam is socked in with clouds (why do we use that phrase?), sunrise is twenty minutes away.

At the weatherunderground, i see that the chance of rain goes from 20% to 94% at 8 am. Bring it!

I came home from the conference a bit early yesterday. Christine was triggering on the conjunction of an upcoming visit and the event last year. She went to sleep, and after some time comforting her, i went and watched many episodes of Haven. I'm two away from the end of this season (4 not 3!): netflix has no more.

My stresses play into a negative feedback loop for Christine: she feels helpless and guilty she's helpless so she feels even worse about herself. It makes transitioning to something that would helpe me thrive all the more critical: and so my stress about this reorg gets increased.

I wonder about waves of nausea this week and whether it is merely - ha - stress.

My director's executive director wants to meet with me today for a half hour to discuss what i am doing and my insights on the team. He did not come out and say, your appropriateness for changing to a new role. My director says that's what this meeting is about, but my discussion with the HR person makes me think that the ExecD is a more thoughtful, deliberative, pondering person who does not like to be rushed. I wrote in response to the invitation that there was much to discuss in a half hour: did he have any particular focus.

Mmmm: sunrise in ten minutes and the sky has wonderful bands of red. A rosy light glows in the corner of the room.

--==∞==--

In other topcs, i am wondering about class distinctions this morning. I was reminded of some things a friend shared with me when she came back from a conference. The distinctions were more along the lines of cognative frames and there was something about generations out of poverty or at least working class that triggered some realizations about my mother's family.

I recently started reading a book on Swedish history which started with a discussion of slavery in Sweden. The transition from not having slaves (there was a different word) to servants wasn't so much of a transition, and the legal structure didn't change until 1927. My Swedish great grandparents left Sweden for America before that change. The upward mobility they wished for their descendants (my great aunts' remarkable college careers before ending up as a teacher and principal) hits a current peak with my brother's family. How my sister and i are different, though, in our sense of housekeeping and our intentional un-learning of the values our mother instilled in us is, apparently, a class transition.

There were other points of distinction: i suppose i'll write to find them out.