February 20th, 2014


(no subject)

One of the things i've found in my botany dabbling is that there are names of people i now recognize from just seeing their names associated with observations in databases. It's kinda cool: a different sort of social network.

On iNaturalist, which intentionally has brought social networking to the observation identification practice, i've a plant under the "ID me" page for which i have rejected several suggestions so far. I wonder what sort of impression i'm leaving. Careful? Or quarrelsome?

Yesterday's work was a struggle: i am resenting the onerous process and some of the responsibilities that i need to fill. Basically, i find i need to tell people how to do their job. I write in the install plan that folks need to shut down software. Since we had an issue where that shut down didn't seem to occur, i now need to write a step that says, check to make sure it's off.

So the frustration, resentment (because i don't know how to do their jobs, i have to be told what to tell them to do -- spending time being a puppet is no fun), and the tedious nature of writing these plans is really pushing me into work related depression again. That, on top of the down feelings of my long weekend, have me doubting my coping with depression. I identified yesterday that the drought is probably dimming my sense of hope in the whole botany-web app vision. Not a rational dimming, but the anticipation i've had of flower hikes this spring is falling away to a wonder of whether we will see green hills this year.