March 29th, 2013

blackhat

(no subject)

I am out of sorts. I'm not quite sure what is misaligned, but i can tell i'm impatient with others at work, unmotivated, etc.

So, first step is i'm going to allow only 200-250 calories of starches and cut out artificial sweets. I've binged on cookie dough and donuts and candy so much that i don't think i can feel the negative sweet reaction anymore. That could be part of the funk, so i need to go cold turkey. I have an abiding suspicion that simple starches play out in this reaction as well, so those too need to go. I need to do this all weekend. Next Monday i can begin having some less refined grains again and then, hopefully, by next weekend, i won't be fighting cravings and temptations. We'll see.

And i MUST journal every morning, even if it's just self centered blather, because this morning purge is part of my good mental hygiene. Maybe tomorrow i can do a little more examination of the funk.

Today and this weekend i should try a graceful "dungeons and desktops" engagement. I must get some financial stuff done: file for flex monies, file travel receipts, pay corporate credit card. I also need to get up and move and do some house care. It doesn't matter what house care i try: any way i turn i see things i could do. So, roll the dice and clean for 20 minutes. It's progress, where ever it is.

OK, i've gone and set some "conditions of enoughness." I hope, if i can get sorted this weekend, i can make significant progress on my career clarity work next week and be moving on that again.