||[Apr. 2nd, 2015|07:04 am]
Current pondering various financial strategies for housing. We don't have a pressure on us, but i wonder about paying rent vs paying (equity+interest)+taxes+insurance. If the later is better, switching sooner is better. Yet water shortage and uncertainty whether we could stay here without my current job.... So, ponder. We've set a moratorium on decision making so that we can spend the time pondering, dreaming, imagining with intention.
Becoming an orchardist with peaches and various fruits and nuts in coastal Carolina areas passes through my mind as wishful thinking.
I shared with Christine my impression that i am slower and not getting as much done as i used to. (Not talking about my employed activity here.) Could it be that in the years of dealing with trauma and angst, with depression, the effort crowded everything else and made it seem to me like i was interacting more? (The "done" as i think of it is reading the morning news and folks' journals and my email as well as my journaling and introspection.) Perhaps i am doing more unrecorded introspection? I can't help but believe that this sense of less done and time evaporating is an illusion (although time is pretty illusory), and that my capacity is more now.
My goals for "Conditions of Enoughness" were met yesterday, and i'm trying to not write, "The goals were embarrassingly meager and i can't imagine not meeting them, but i haven't met goals for so long." Belittling and beating myself up isn't going to help. I met the goals! Yay!