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Friday i wrote: I figure today is the last day of the first half of… - Moving at the Speed of Procrastination. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
E.G.

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[Mar. 2nd, 2013|06:59 pm]
E.G.
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Friday i wrote:


I figure today is the last day of the first half of my life. It is reasonable to assume i will live past 90, but 90 seems a reasonable point to "plan" for.

I'm pondering writing a message to my 90 year old self. It's hard to imagine what she will think of me. I suspect there will be amusement at the quaintness of how i was writing. "Oh yes, i remember when i was enamored with Live Journal/Dreamwidth," rather like how i now reflect on my twenty some year old's self's fondness for fountain pens.


Intriguingly, in my birthday card, my mom sent me the rolodex card i had sent her when i moved to Philadelphia. Written with a fountain pen.

DSC03676


This year, my birthday is being barely observed. I'd noted advice to remove your birthday from Facebook, so i did not receive a g'zillion "Happy birthdays." I did receive a few wishes from friends: colleagues reached out, someone asked if my photo of a margarita was an early celebration. Family called, there's a card from my parents and one from my mother, and Christine made sure i celebrated with food and a package to unwrap.

I am not doing much observing, myself.

DSC03663DSC03666


Time seems to have slipped through my fingers like water. I delighted myself with sighting a new to me duck, a pair of American Widgeons, and in general enjoying the visual power of the long lens. (Walk notes: three flowering plants (one invasive), five species of ducks, two species of herons, savannah sparrow, and American avocet.)

We're going through a seemingly sudden change in season here. The pink ornamental fruit trees are like cotton candy at a fairground. My commute features dense shoulders of mustard and radish flowers, along with a lovely stretch of lupine. The hottentot fig, iceplant -- the non-native succulent planted along the highways -- has pompoms of Easter colored pink and yellow. After some weeks of pondering a new observation as i drive around, i am now noting many new changes.

DSC03645
American widgeon


I attended a memorial service yesterday for a woman at Meeting who has impressed me with her centeredness of experience. Listening, aware i am at my putative midpoint in my life, aware that one never knows when one will die, i (as usual) wonder what will be said about me, and is it what i want?

Christine is distressed over the wolf kills going on in Wyoming, and i ponder shedding this life and moving to the road. Health care, my brain reminds me, the most important thing working earns is affordable health care. Indeed. But -- what is next?

I spoke to my sister in law while Christine was napping. Christine had shared with her worry about my mental state last fall, so i noted the good drugs, the annoying psychiatrist, and that knowing i was working on looking for what's next had brought me a great deal of peace about work.

I am working on the homework of somatically experiencing the good things, trying to track my physical response of curiosity and pleasure.

In the early morning, i began mentally listing the to-dos of today. It's the day before i step on the roller coaster - a dense short work week, travel to see my grandmother in Tampa (high 81, chance of thunderstorms), travel to Ohio (high 46, chance of snow). I've sorted out where i am with a couple of crochet projects for the plane, and i have plenty of audio media. (Pleasure and entertainment first.) Now to face the responsibilities ahead.

This morning i clerk meeting for worship and gather the last of the nominating forms.

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: mopalia
2013-03-03 04:32 pm (UTC)
Fountain pens! I was passionate about fountain pens and beautiful paper when I was in my late teens and 20s. I wonder if this is a physical manifestation of love of language, words, writing? I still have a couple of fountain pens - maybe it's time to revive them.

I am so glad you were born and have hung in there. You are generous of spirit and my life has been enriched by knowing you. Celebrate!
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[User Picture]From: elainegrey
2013-03-04 01:18 am (UTC)
Fountain pens: i loved the written word, but i also loved the art of writing -- calligraphy. If you want to revive them, i may have appropriate ink.

Thank you for the celebration -- i'm off for a trip -- which is more disruptive to me than just the travel -- but i did enjoy our evening chatting in January.
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[User Picture]From: deb_artist
2013-03-03 04:58 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday :-) I know it's late but the wish is still genuine. I've reached the halfway point a few years back and now I just keep pushing the "end" date further away.
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[User Picture]From: elainegrey
2013-03-04 01:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'll be seeing my 96 year old grandmother in a week and i will likely have some strong feelings about aging after spending time with her. I'm not sure what the feelings will be, but i suspect the feelings will be strong.
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[User Picture]From: bobby1933
2013-03-03 07:32 pm (UTC)

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday!

As for the rest -- My 45th birthday was almost 35 years ago. They have been my thirty-five best years. May yours be the same.
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[User Picture]From: elainegrey
2013-03-04 01:26 am (UTC)

Re: Happy Birthday

My grandmother told me her 35th year was her most magical, but it seems to me mine just keep getting better.

Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: bardcat
2013-03-03 10:43 pm (UTC)
a very Happy Birthday to you!
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[User Picture]From: elainegrey
2013-03-04 01:26 am (UTC)
Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: gurdonark
2013-03-03 10:57 pm (UTC)
A belated happy birthday!

The wolf kills bother me, too. There should be wiser management.

Tampa has great birds! Good photos in your post today.

How many folks are in your quiver of Quakers?

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[User Picture]From: elainegrey
2013-03-04 01:34 am (UTC)
In Meeting? We have a hundred recorded members, but many members do not participate. They have either moved away or they are cultural Quakers. We contact folks to see if they wish to release their membership: there's some tension around that. Then there are many folks who are members of the community, but have not made the public commitment to have membership recorded.

There are about sixty folks who are listed as committee members; we have over 120 committee slots.

I'm hoping to take the long lens to Tampa, but i am also having to remind myself i'm going to see my grandmama, not visit Little Manatee state Park and go canoeing.

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[User Picture]From: gurdonark
2013-03-04 01:42 am (UTC)
100 is a good number for a meeting. 120 slots is a lot of slots.

The great thing about Florida is that there is cool stuff even if you are not at the Manatee park, but just looking at things in a more suburban day to day way.
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