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The state of the felines [Nov. 19th, 2009|06:26 am]
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As with everything, i write more when i'm trying to sort out issues and less to observe the joys of day to day. The past few weeks, every time i drive down Middlefield Rd to Palo Alto i rejoice in the autumn colors of the ginkos and sycamores* and the other immigrant trees. Christine and i discussed yesterday how the colors seem even more persistent this year. I think it's because we haven't had much in the ways of storms since the October one, and the leaves stay hanging on the trees long after they change, allowing a palette of colors to build up.

* the ones folks around here call liquid ambers but i just called sycamores or gum trees growing up because we didn't have plane trees.

So, the cats.

We still miss Greybeard and Greybrother. Greybeard died a year ago at the beginning of October: it seems longer than just a year ago.

As i watch Mr M moving around, sometimes i see Greybeard in the curve of his back or how he settles down in a bed. Mr M seems to be shrinking a little, but i don't know if it's just that the youngster cats are shooting past him. He is still our Romeow, with rituals of affection, visiting us as Christine and i stand and kiss or hug, visiting Christine in the morning with his wonderful bass purr rumbling. I realize the tenth anniversary of his joining us is upon us: we brought him in off the Philly streets right after Thanksgiving, 1999. We didn't know how old he was then. We guess three. So Mr M is possibly thirteen. He rarely meows, only in complaint when being chased in off the deck or picked up when he wants to be left alone.

When he was sick earlier this year, i realized just how much his loving purr buoys me.

Greycie Loo has been with us two years, and it seems just like yesterday she was that tiny young cat. She's grown into a tall, leggy, bossy thing. She has the cutest way of yawning while meowing for breakfast in the morning, her triangular jaw opening wide to show her sharp, needle-like teeth. Otherwise, the meowing for breakfast is insistent and loud. She adores Christine, sitting or sprawling across Christine much of the day it seems. In the evenings Greycie guards the front door landing, paw prints cover the tall window where she stands and bats on the window, "Hey You, You Orange Cat, That's My Concrete Steps!" She's discovered that she can sit in my lap in the mornings and will come and ask to sit in my lap. She squirms around so that she can reach up and tap my face with a front paw. "Pay attention to me." I'm so delighted to have her pay attention to me that i do. If Christine walks in, though, her eyes go to Christine and i'm forgotten.

Edward is still a mystery, and Christine's motto towards him is, "He won't make me cry." He's not really our cat, no matter what we try. He's happy to have breakfast in the morning, but is often ready to go. He's got a very large vocalization range, barking and quacking and and long merrhoows. He's heavy and solid: it doesn't seem like he has an ounce of fat on his body. He's not as graceful as other lighter, more lithe cats. While he is quite strong, when he leaps to the roof it's not the teleportation that our neighbor's cat manages, but more human scale. So each morning, there's breakfast, and then a growing interest and urgency about getting out. (This morning, perhaps, he might be thinking about how it's been relatively cold.) I take him in to see Christine and get her blessing on his departure: i suppose we have a sense that it really might be the last time we see him. I let him on the deck, trying to keep Greycie Loo from charging at him, chasing him off prematurely. Sooner or later, he's on the rail, on the roof, and off to what ever he does all day.

Evenings are unpredictable. We've tried to train him to recognize a dinner and breakfast bell. Sometimes he does show up on his own, often he's playing near by and is NOT ready to come in. Playing with him we coax him to the stairs to the unit, where he finally gets the idea that it's time for dinner, and trots up. After eating, he often spends the evening luxuriously sprawled on our empty bed, while Mr M and Greycie Loo keep us company in the living room.
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Wah! [Nov. 18th, 2009|07:10 am]
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Yesterday was a pretty full bore* day with one break for lunch when i was so hungry i lacked any capacity to do anything but eat. Unfortunately much of that was meetings, so first, i wasn't setting the pace, and second i had much email to attend to after. "Remember the wisdom of the meandering creek," i should remind myself. Yes, but i'm going away for two weeks.

* The metaphor here is a great big pipe with all my energy gushing out of it, nonstop.

I came home just in time to kiss Christine as she went to a Social Mapping Meetup. My Mohops have arrived, and i could not find where i had put my little bag with crochet hooks and the other bag with ongoing projects. After one episode of Sherlock Holmes (Jeremy Brett in Granada Television's "The Dancing Men"**) i finally recalled, but not until i became quite critical of the level of clutter we have. And the books! What are we to do? At some point we must confront the piles and piles -- and we do confront them, and then piles form up in the corners behind us. We keep getting surrounded.

** I forget if this has the [info - personal] laughingrat seal of approval or not.

Other than being delighted by the shoes, i didn't have any energy at all, and even reading LJ seemed too much. So, i missed your day yesterday.

Will i finish the crochet uppers in time for the wedding? Good Question. I *did* finish the scarf yesterday.

Edward wants to go out, is sitting on the windowsill next to me, his breath condensing on the window, occasionally sighing, occasionally vocalizing his querulous "Mrrruuhh?" He's big. He doesn't quite fit on the window sill.

I keep looking at the clock because i must get moving on today. I will get at least one review done today: we're meeting at a coffee shop in Mountain View. I don't think all three can be done by the end of the week.

Monday night i had unpleasant dreams of bodily functions and failures. Last night i awoke with a nauseating cramp, and Christine got a basin for me, just in case. This morning my digestive tract remains unhappy. My eating habits of yesterday were not particularly different from the past week, although the shoes arrived with two lemon sour candies and two fire balls. I wonder if the lemon sours before bed are to blame.
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CRANKY PANTS [Nov. 16th, 2009|06:12 pm]
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I'm cranky.

And now i'm just distressed. I misread when the Post Office had Customer Support and spent ten minutes -- a seeming eternity -- in automated voice recognition hell. My Mohops have theoretically been delivered but i can't find them.

And i'm BEHIND with work and have been spinning my wheels since after lunch when i realized the files i needed were left at home. I came home, and my laptop was all sluggish and disagreeable. It was a while before i diagnosed the problem and fixed it.

I'm now just completely out of sorts.

I don't know if it's wise to have bread today (i had pizza on Friday as a wheat treat), but Christine has made soup and bread just seems right. I've quarters of home made onion bread from a friend in the freezer, so i've defrosted it and am now heating it up.

Cranky cranky.
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Zoom [Nov. 15th, 2009|06:59 am]
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Summary:

Thursday: preparing for the colonoscopy
Friday: can't remember much of anything. Clearly the conscious sedation works.
Saturday: Meeting retreat, music purchases for a wedding
Sunday: Meeting events, shopping.

PS: Hi to [info]cyan_blue and [info]brian1789. I saw you in Safeway but didn't engage my verbal skills to say hi until you both were long gone!

Read more... )
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(no subject) [Nov. 14th, 2009|06:24 am]
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I made it through the prep and the colonoscopy. It was less unpleasant than i remember: leaving the flavor packs out of the TriLyte was probably a good move. It was oddly disruptive as far as time management: i managed to work all morning (yay), and didn't deal with one financial task (checking our flex account in preparation for open enrollment, and i've all sorts of tasks to do to prepare for Sunday committee meetings and leading an adult ed session on Membership. Yesterday i felt fine, but i have a feeling that i was not as present as i thought i was. I did mull the apple juice i'd bought for the day before and get some tidying done, though. I didn't make the call i was supposed to make.

I've just now made sure i understand what's needed for annual enrollment. Yay for benefits! I always fear i'm going to do something wrong and screw up my benefits. Working for the Whale, however, they're able to invest in making sure the process is as clear as possible. Although, like so much with the Whale, i find there's a marketing-like spin that leaves a bad taste in my mouth: figuring out what the benefit changes are is a bit of a headache. On the other hand, it's nothing one can do anything about. And the benefits are very good: i really don't care that the frames are now subsidized once every 24 months instead of 12, i resent having to try and figure out what the change is. (Actually, environmentally, i think that's a good change.)

***

Christine's brought my attention to the Progressive Majority, an attempt to focus on getting progressives in government. "We may have an overwhelming Democratic majority in the Congress, but it's not a progressive majority." My curiosity is piqued! I suppose the parallel naming to the Moral Majority is no accident. One of the "platform" policies is equality, so one would hope that addressing the marriage issue would be as important as pro-choice issues. It is not clearly spelled out. Those folks who have decided not to throw money at the Democratic party, might find this a useful change. Wikipedia has little - -nothing on the talk page -- but notes "Public officials elected with the help of Progressive Majority include California Secretary of State Debra Bowen,...."

I remember how quickly i saw through Move On, and how disappointed some of my friends were as they discovered it was not really a grass roots progressive group, but controlled by people who supported the Democratic Party as a party. I find my level of cynicism leads me to wonder if this is just a way to extract money and participation without true change.

***

health notes )
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Health Stories [Nov. 11th, 2009|06:35 pm]
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I'm interested this morning in the stories i tell myself about my health.
Blah blah blah )
At this point, i had to participate in a management meeting.
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2009|07:03 am]
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Azure is the sky on many days here, but not so much yesterday. Yet i went into the nutritionist's office burbling, "What a lovely day." It was a very busy day and i am hard pressed to figure out what i found lovely about it: i believe i'm comparing it to what November in Philadelphia could be.

Bezel comes to mind as "B" word and i wonder what's going on with the interior Z's. I've got a Q in the lexulous game i'm playing with Christine (who regularly whomps us), not a Z. I did note that there's a worn spot on my Treo bezel, pitted like a satellite in our trashy orbit, but it's just a small area. It's not under any of the basic navigation points. As i went to sleep and played my ritual hand of solitaire while Christine read and pet my hair i realized the worn spot is right over the deck from which one selects cards.

Crazed, i choose not to break the Z pattern, and that brings me to
Dazed, where i wonder if this is a silly challenge, and i
Ease myself out of it by echoing the sound and not the letter.

Fun, i think that's what i'm trying to have here.

Helping out my health for the next few months with be a collection of Evening Primrose or Borage oil and Fish oil, as well as a bioflavinoid Quercitin. Now, when i hear that a fruit or vegetable has lots of antioxidants and bioflavenoids , i translate it as that "fruit or vegetable has lots of fruit and vegetableness." Eye rolling may occur. Per wikipedia's numbers, if i ate a kg of apples before each meal i'd approach the low end of the dosage proscribed for me. Of course, to say any naturally occurring product has N amount of some compound is to play the odds on a wide bell curve, as well as gamble on the breadth of sample used to calculate the average. Is the apple number all from Red Delicious from Washington state? Anyhow, it seems to be widely available.

I am stopping the elimination/exclusion diet today. I will probably continue to be wary of corn and wheat, although we have pizza planned for Friday night dinner after my colonoscopy.

Just a pleasant treat, is the pizza, while i already have a reason for feeling out of it, and the following day is a Meeting retreat where i don't need to be particularly motivated.

Killing off this pattern now, last paragraph in this game. I've got my mind moving.

***
More about the nutritionist's advice )
***

Greycie Loo was acting extremely unwell and subdued last night, curled up on our bed and not coming to dinner. Her behavior this morning is a little better, but she's still not eating. Christine's going to continue to watch her: the cats need to get some vaccines before being boarded, anyhow, so they may be off to the vet on Wednesday as it is. I recall we recently applied the flea meds. *worry*
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How Writers Write [Nov. 10th, 2009|06:36 am]
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Two of my favorite* authors from NOVEMBER 6, 2009 WSJ.com article

How to Write a Great Novel: From writing in the bathroom (Junot Díaz) to dressing in character (Nicholson Baker), 11 top authors share their methods for getting the story on the page

By ALEXANDRA ALTER
Read more... )
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2009|07:10 am]
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I woke up this morning remembering that i had quit puttering at my desk when i rolled the dice and got the task to write my grandfather. I complained to myself that my desk really wasn't set up for pen and ink. Use the clipboard box, i answered. I stared at my imagined helpful-self in the dark.

It's November 2009. The clipboard box is full of ephemera from the end of 2008.

So, i sifted through, found the ticket stubs and small ephemera bits that triggered memories, shoved that in the ephemera book from that time period, and shoved it all in the box with little art books and scrap books. I discarded the redundant, obvious, or already forgotten. Done.

Well, somewhat done.

Talking myself into more decrufting )

***

Last night we watched a third season episode of Wire in the Blood, Synchronicity. It was wonderfully done, although i don't know how well it would work if one hadn't been following the characters through previous episodes. The horror of random chance: a sniper who was choosing victims apparently at random and the development of a brain tumor in profiling psychologist Tony Hill's brain. What did he do to deserve the tumor? What did the victims do to deserve their deaths? Odd to watch after i had waled away from my game of "Dungeons and Desk work," odd to watch after the dull malaise of Thursday and Friday and my sense of guilt at my inability to be as strong and reliable as i want to be. As Tony and Carol (the DCI) try to figure out a strategy, they touch on our human* desire to see pattern. Tony goes from quoting Jung and Stalin, asserting there are no coincidences, to accepting the randomness. There's so much in the eighty plus minutes yet it is sketchy and impressionistic. There's a comment on randomness by the drinking of one of the staff inspectors (it's hard to cope when faced with the randomness), and another, harder to decipher, comment by Tony's visit to a church and Carol's later questioning of a bishop. Did the victim deserve it? No.

There's an echo of something i've been discussing with [info] laugingrat: that desire to assert that there is a pattern, that when bad things happen to a person, somehow they deserve it. A side of the "nurture" argument: one's life choices causes one's illness and if one just changed diet, thought patterns, (desires, identity) one would be well. And there's the side of the "nature" argument: an attempt to trace the bad things to genetics, DNA (sins of the fathers, original sin). Both arguments insist a pattern. My understanding** of the mathematics that leads to chaos theory doesn't deny that there is a pattern, but points out that the models of the patterns are so sensitive to the multiplicity of input that repeatability is impossible. One of the classic stories in chaos theory is how repeating a weather model by leaving out some trailing insignificant digits caused a dramatic shift in the model results. We want patterns, but unless you have a precise, accurate, and complete model of all the boundary conditions, the iterative results will be unpredictable. It's not the same as randomness, but my understanding, but it's not very different in practice.

*yikes, late, must dash*


*mammal? Chordata?

** is decades old and out of practice
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Mwuhahaha [Nov. 7th, 2009|06:19 pm]
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Went grocery shopping when hungry -- actually it was my walk to make up for not walking during the week. I bought rose mochi -- soft chewy rice flour buns filled with a rose sesame bean curd. I do love the rose flavor!

I wonder how long they'll keep now that i've opened them.

***

Thursday i read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol as my mom sent it to me. It was a perfect diversion for my sense of being out of it, but i was so often disturbed by my sense that some readers pick up on these books as if they're historical fiction. I was intrigued by just how defensive of the Masons Dan Brown's Mary Sue/Gary Stu is. If i recall correctly, there was a great deal more portrayal of the Vatican City residents as a maleficent cabal of Other. These Masons though are My Best Friends and The Leaders of Our Great Nation. This was not the disturbing thing, though. The noetic science bit is the part that kept causing me to twitch. I've heard of noetic science as i was growing up as my Grandmama keeps up with folks in that intellectual/spiritual circle. But there's something about my mother's recent enthusiasm for self-hypnosis and her enthusiasm for this book that nags me. Her uncritical acceptance of book-jacket authorities....

***

Yesterday we watched Longitude, all 200 minutes of the A&E miniseries. It was delightful, although it too had me wondering about how we portray science in this country. On one hand, the issue of class in England is alien to me. I am aware that the social class issues are something i do not know from my experience: thinking of Inspector Linley mysteries, the 17th century penalties for not giving hat honor or using thee/thou with one's "better," Sense and Sensibility. I believe that much of the actual tension must have been a craftsman intruding on the purview of gentlemen, not a mechanic intruding on the purview of astronomers. I cannot tell. Again, my enjoyment is tempered by a nagging awareness that something else is going on.
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Small achievements [Nov. 7th, 2009|10:59 am]
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Yesterday Christine and i visited a number of cat boarding places. The incredibly inexpensive place that is near by is not particularly friendly. I can imagine them being good with dogs but they aren't cat people. On the other hand, i can see it being a suitable place to leave the cats. Personally, i'd be just as happy leaving the cats there as at the PetSmart PetHotel. Christine had a strong aversion to the folks running the place, though, so we tried tracking down a PetHotel that had room. With all those booked up, we tried the (relatively) expensive cat place up the Peninsula. Cat heaven! And they have room. So, job done. A little stressful as we negotiated our different values (Christine wants the best for the cats, i question whether "best" is truly best). It's less expensive than the sitter and i will feel far more confident of everything with the cats in a good facility.

And really, the place seems like cat heaven.

***

I'm feeling much better today, which makes me want to spit in frustration. I like feeling better, but correlating my energy level and sense of well-being to anything is impossible.

***

Another small achievement is the apple stuffed pumpkin in the stove. I think it will be edible, at least, as i am unfond of baked orange things like carrots and yams and squash, but perhaps it will be good. Enough brown sugar and anything is good, right?
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Health Complaints [Nov. 5th, 2009|10:48 am]
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Malingerer. Lazy.

I do call myself names.

By the standards of my family of birth i can walk, i'm probably not contagious, so i really ought to be putting my nose to my responsibilities. Instead i slept late, read stories from a copy of Fantasy & Science Fiction this morning and have slowly reviewed my incoming feeds.
The usual whining )***

I just went and made more private my account at MySpace, deleting some "friends" who weren't really friends. I partially want to just close the MySpace down, but i'll admit to being an identity squatter. It's "my" name there and i don't want anyone else using my internet handle there.

Meanwhile, Google has made it easier to find out what they know about you. Right, Orkut.

Which all reminds me a bit of some of the things i learned about at the conference this week. Think about facebook and myspace and how there are these snippet feeds. These are now being standardized into something that is interoperable the way email is interoperable: activity streams. I might allow BookSite to post to SocialSite when i do something. I might also allow OtherSocialSite to display all my activities from SocialSite. The format for this is activity streams, and Facebook and MySpace are just two of many places where you can be inundated with all the activity of anyone to whom you connect. There's another project, salmon, where a comment at OtherSocialSite "will swim upstream" to wherever the activity started, say BookSite, and then it can propagate back out to everywhere that activity is listed, eg SocialSite.

I have no idea how the privacy layer is going to work on this.

I can just imagine someone writing a review at BookSite that they're proud for the world to see associated with their name, the activity being propagated into all the circles of their life, and a more private comment -- say a comment about remembering that the review author seemed to really hit it off with book author at small event, nudge nudge wink wink -- and that gets pushed all the way back to the very responsible review.... Yay.
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Ugh [Nov. 4th, 2009|11:48 pm]
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How can I tell if I have a cold vs allergy-asthma flare? Sniff, cough, malinger.

Whichever, i'm sleeping in.
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More community thoughts of different varieties [Nov. 4th, 2009|07:30 am]
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I don't know when, if ever, i'll become visible in the tech community i'm currently working in. That's OK, but i fond myself wondering how much of an investment to make. Do i stretch myself to talk with strangers or do i take the rest i need?

Last night, watching Christine cry from the pain of the wisdom tooth extraction (a short release of the stress -- she was cheerful after as she went about some chores), i choose staying home with her. I did spend much of the evening in meta-community, fiddling with Twitter data. It's not the same thing.

***

With Quaker community, a blog interaction lead me to an interesting Quaker document from the past: http://www.qhpress.org/texts/balby.html . It connects with some of my other thoughts about the role of recorded membership and my pondering about what does it mean to be "Quaker." [info]kibbles has taught me much that is *finally* sinking in.

A FB link to this reflection on Karen Armstrong's book was also good food for thought this morning. I logged the link with the note, "A examination of how Armstrong reveals the historical and global importance placed on practice as opposed to statements of belief. While not specifically Quaker, it reminds me of some of Barclay's positioning of the society in the context of the Catholicism of the time (eg: indulgences as perverted practice) and the Protestants who were beginning this descent into statements of belief."

***

What (in large numbers) Twitter and FB do that LJ no longer does for me is provide those reading references. Go look at this funny thing, go read this useful thing, have you heard about this new thing. In a way, i appreciate LJ becoming more exclusively an individual's reflections or stories, while i can skim the RSS feeds of Twitter and Facebook shared links and explore.

***

I was tempted by Hackerdojo email and knowing that one person i've met through LJ is playing there. Ah, there's someone who crochets there! But, honestly, another community? The Friday nights in January and February are nights for 'makers' in Friends community. Those 'makers' are there in the Friends community, but how to bring out that thread of the tapestry of experience? For the moment, i need to continue to commit in that community.

(But i may go play at hackerdojo if something specific comes up.)

***

So, thinking about goals for the holidays, perhaps simply focussing myself on the library committee --we'll have two worknights -- and the oversight work and the preparing for the winter nights in Jan Feb is PLENTY.
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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2009|07:47 am]
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After i started thinking about community yesterday, i followed up on some emails that were bothering me in my role as liaison to the congregation that uses the Meetinghouse. I have again spent this morning with those emails. Somehow, this doesn't register in my consciousness as doing or giving or participating, despite the reflection i need to go through. These emails in particular are difficult because i'm in the "landlord" position, and i'm trying to negotiate my way between the clerk in charge of the building and the congregation. There's something bothersome about how she addresses the congregation through me: a presumption of them overstepping bounds as opposed to balancing needs and uses. It's much more rule-oriented than creative.

So i am ministering here, serving, both in mediating the Meeting's relationship with the congregation and in trying to reflect back some of the inclinations of the building clerk.

***

Work was OK yesterday, although i found that work that was reported completed wasn't, and a number of pull-my-hair-out things came up with the Product staff member. Everyone else was out of the office for a long variety of reasons.

After work i rode to dinner listening to the game, happy that there's a game six. I had hoped to catch some of the archived game last night after, but it wasn't available.

Dinner was with the Minnow work colleagues to celebrate a birthday for the young mom. Christine joined us, and it was a pleasant evening. I felt strained by the end of the three hours, though. I don't know if that's because i kept to my diet and and wasn't indulging, or just the dynamics of being with this group.

I was happy to keep to my diet though, i think i may simply try to make this my diet going forward. In fact, i wish i had skipped the desert. My body has adjusted to the simple diet and i find myself thinking that i don't want to risk having this rich thing, that alcohol, this other hunk of bread. I only ate the lemon cream filling and the meringue out of the desert (yeah, there was probably butter in that) and found leaving the sugar crust a simple choice.

I don't know how i'm going to manage challenges for dairy (again) and corn with November as it is. I'm off to a conference for the next few days.

***

I did go walk for twenty minutes, reading notes about goals on my treo, beginning the check-in for the next goal season: November and December get treated as "the holidays."

One goal for this season: twenty minutes of basic activity every day. There's no reason i can't do it now. I've done it sporadically, i know how it helps at work, i have a way to do it at home.
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Monday Morning Reflections [Nov. 3rd, 2009|07:46 am]
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Driving home from meeting yesterday i found myself experiencing surges of regret. My usual bolt away from the community after meeting: is it just habit? Why, really, do i run away? As i got to Middlefield (a long road that must have a long history), my thoughts turned to appreciating the fall leaves and being stunned that it's November. My intention to ride my bike to Meeting during the fair and clear weather, made in February.... What have i done this year? Much, i'm sure, and yet i'm beginning to sense the lack of goals as not a release from arbitrary pressures but as a lack of grounding.

I take this to mean that i am healing from the years of work focus, that i've slipped free of survival and i'm back to asking What Can I Do For This World?

The challenge of interacting in community remains for me: that is where procrastination has drifted. There's a large tension in myself between a sense that my growth of self may be best shaped by stepping out of myself and my own inclinations to be semi-solitary. I note the

.... and i stopped writing.



Side snark, from a Mercury News article about the approaching 9 Nov Google Books hearing (although the article seems to just mention a "deadline"): "It's absolutely partially about Google's size," said Daniel Clancy....
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(no subject) [Nov. 1st, 2009|08:26 am]
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Yesterday's watching (and crocheting) included Pittsburgh, a Jeff Goldblum documentary/comedy/mocumentary.... I'm not familiar with The Music Man so i don't know how traumatic it is to see Jeff Goldblum playing that part. If Christine's reaction was any measure, it's quite painful. There's some loving shots of the bridges in Pittsburgh, a wierd failed romance between Illeana Douglas & Moby, and a very annoying conceit with Jeff Goldblums' 23 year old fiancée. I think i found the conceit most annoying, wondering how Catherine Wreford's near invisibility affected her. Her character in the film is so shallowly portrayed (she knits!), and her role is simply to be there so Jeff Goldblum can bounce his anxiety about acting on the stage off of her.

Finding this bit of news about a subsequent play in London with Goldblum and Wreford i'm left hoping that their engagement was real and their dis-engagement left Goldblum with the need to shield her person in the film Pittsburgh.

***

Crocheting this second motif for the shoe upper (see http://www.flickr.com/photos/elainegreycats/4034968852/) is an interesting exercise in re-creativity. Christine fusses at me for not documenting my code -- the pattern i developed -- and i claim the documentation is in the piece. (*Snort* yup, undocumented code.) On the first piece, i'm creating: what can i do for the next row? how will it look? On the second piece: is this going to look the same? It's more worry and less delight. I give myself permission to not duplicate but simply make something that will look similar enough to someone talking to me, but make no attempt to replicate stitch by stitch.

***

Our observance of Halloween was muted. A Friend i met in February died during the day after a long bout with a chronic illness. Through a caringbridge.org blog she and then her partner shared the story of their letting go. Their intentionality and willingness to be present with the realities bought back the echoes of things Friend L shared in worship in February. She had the blessing of (near) cognitive clarity to the end and the ability to make many choices about how she was cared for and treated: Friend M is a doctor and that probably provided an ease that others might not have. I think back to the death of a Friend in my Meeting earlier this year, another death that Friends found to be just as much a giving as a taking. My thoughts are mixed: i'm aware of privilege and "luck" just as much as i am of the gentle simplicity and sad joy that their stories tell. I think of Christine and the shadow crossing her face as she looked at her mother dressed as Cruella d'Ville for Halloween: would her mother have willingly pretended to carry a cigarette holder before her mind began to go?

I did eat candy corn: i am reminded that sweets seem to be mood altering and not in a good way.

Our pumpkins sit un-carved: orange veggie/fruit for later meals.

Our kitchen has come back from the brink. I must rent a rug shampooer. I tried again to use our little mini "steam" cleaner and find the fixture that sprays the solution clogged. I wonder if i should find someone who would like to fix and have it. It does suck some of the water out as i cleaned spots, leaving anti-spots on the dingy carpet. Our table has been covered again with stuff for months. Household ickies acted as a bit of a block for creating a celebratory space.
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Notes from Caturday Morning [Oct. 31st, 2009|12:38 pm]
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We don't have anything particular on our calendars today, so i think i'm already participating in the time change.

After time poking at the computer while in bed, we got up and Christine made breakfast while i cued up a half hour of video podcasts. Frederator, an animation podcast, contains far less animation than it used to. We pad out the half hour with a craft vlog and arts vlogs, but i think i need to find a better animation vlog.

We watched a GIS lecture from iTunes U that was painfully ... raw, a screen cast of how to complete a homework assignment using ESRI ArcMap. There are a number of other GIS lectures in the iTunes U catalog so we'll audit those over time.

I went on to listen to a recorded work presentation and crocheted a ring for Christine as a test of the concept. Eventually i'll get a photo and post to flickr and ravelry.

I'm now baking my veat for the week: Walnut Oatmeal Quinoa Veatloaf Ingredients )

It's finally cleared. The morning marine layer took forever to burn off.

With the vearloaf baking, what do i get to eat *now*?
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What an amazing movie! [Oct. 31st, 2009|08:19 am]
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We went to see Where the Wild Things Are and found it utterly divine.* And maybe Divine is a useful way to look at this violent and painful fantasy that is so bound in love that it bursts. SPOILERS )

Perhaps the most succinct way of describing this film is to say it sits on the tipping point of the discovery of compassion.

* OK, except for "All is Love" from Karen O and the Kids. That, not so much divine. On the other hand, i was mumbling-singing "Hideaway" on the way home, and have since bought the track.
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(no subject) [Oct. 30th, 2009|05:28 pm]
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So today was a little frustrating. It started with my new backup drive complaining, and then problems seemed to migrate to the system's root drive -- probably because of aborted root drive mirroring. I seem to have made good progress in cleaning up the mess, but it's hard to feel good about as it was not time i expected to be spending.

Similarly, Mr M is not well and has made a variety of bodily messes in a variety of places. The kitchen was a wreck to begin with: some progress was made there. I think we're trying to get M a vet visit tomorrow. Christine has procrastinated and the dental office has closed: she needs to have a wisdom tooth removed that is now causing her pain.

Also, my patience was blown to smithereens by an hour and forty minutes of work phone calls. We have a situation where someone is being assigned to do X and really doesn't have the appropriate skills to do X. While my boss says it's not my job to manage getting X done, he and i both know that the other folks involved aren't going to make it get done. So i find myself explaining to the writer how to use Word. I am now going to see if Framemaker can import well styled Word docs.

I did take the wedding dress to the consignment shop. It's still in its coffin, i mean, sealed in its nitrogen filled box, but i did take it out of the external carton and the plastic lining bag, and pulled free the insert that covered the plastic window. So, i saw the dress before leaving it for the manager (who is sick) to consider. Christine bought a great dress for her sister's wedding

Oh curses: Our web server is down.

We did have a nice brunch, even if it was at 1:30 (Kitchen a wreck.)

We are going out to see "Where the Wild Things Are"

Also, Good and Plenty licorice candies and honey flavored candy corn (like Brach's) make a fun combination. I enjoy it. Not sure anyone else would.
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